


Retail Therapy - Drabbles

by Hero_in_a_hoodie



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Drabbles, Gen, Lady Loki is an Avenger, MCU inspired
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-13
Updated: 2018-03-05
Packaged: 2019-03-17 15:36:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 967
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13661991
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hero_in_a_hoodie/pseuds/Hero_in_a_hoodie
Summary: Who ever imagined that the best thing about life on Midgard would be the shopping? Lady Loki certainly didn't, but now she can't get enough of it.More drabbles to be added as they're written. No particular order is intended. Enjoy and comment with suggestions, and I'll take those into consideration.





	1. Vending Machine

**Author's Note:**

> Inspiration: this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_miAGxDX5FM

Loki had a headache.

No, it wasn’t because Bruce had somehow convinced her to accompany him on an errand to talk to a colleague at the Museum of Natural History—probably the most boring place on Midgard to learn about Midgard.

And no, it wasn’t because Doctor Doom also decided to stop by the museum that day, trying to steal a priceless gem they had on display.

And finally, it wasn’t because the head curator proceeded to berate her and the Hulk for smashing Doom, his bots and half of the second floor, even though they apprehended him successfully and recovered the gem.

She had a headache because when she found a vending machine, and put her last dollar in, expecting a bar of chocolate to come tumbling down, it got stuck.

Odin’s ass, she really needed that chocolate now. “Why! Am! I! Having! Such! A! Terrible! Day!” She banged on the glass pane with her fist, hoping to dislodge the chocolate bar. It didn’t move.

The Hulk chuckled. Loki glared up at him, leaning against the side of the vending machine. “All right, why don’t you try it?”

Then she flinched when he raised his hand. He only lightly tapped his green finger against the top of the box, and the chocolate bar dropped free.

“Thank you,” Loki said through a mouth full of chocolate.


	2. Egg Hats

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspiration: this image: https://images4-b.ravelrycache.com/uploads/KnitcaCom/155297390/egg_hats2_small2.jpg

“What is that?” Loki asked, aghast, pointing at the unusual ware in the booth at a craft faire. They were tiny knit hats displayed on wooden eggs with smiley-faces.

“Egg hats!” Peter said, “I mean, they’re clearly—”

“—Yes, I know what an egg is.” Loki snapped back at him. “What I can’t understand is why one would need a hat.”

“To keep it warm?” the high-schooller feebly guessed.

“They’re cute,” Natasha said, picking up one that had a pattern of red triangles on a black background.

“Really, you think so?” Loki asked her friend. Natasha only nodded. “All right, you find the one you like, and Peter will pick one too.”

“But I don’t want—” he gulped down his last words as both the women glared at him. 

While Natasha held up two for Peter to choose between, Loki handed her StarkCard over to the owner of the booth. “Is it possible to commission more of those egg hats?”

“Sure, lady.”

“I’ll take ten.” Loki listed the colors and designs for a customized egg hat for each one of the Avengers.

(And Peter picked a blue hat with red zigzags.)


	3. Costco Cereal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspiration: I have a brother. I know how much they can eat.

“Why are we buying seven boxes of frosted-flakes cereal, Thor?” Loki asked, hefting one up from the cart to read the nutritional information. “This is, literally, gigantic. Look, it says each bag contains thirty servings.”

“But there are only two bags per box,” Thor said by explanation.

Loki stared at her brother, with a case of chocolate milk boxes on his shoulder and two more under his other arm. Realization dawned quickly.

“That’s it, I’m going _back_ to the books and picking up the special-edition Lord of the Rings collections. That’ll certainly last longer.”


	4. Credit Card

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspiration: Tony Stark pays for everything.

On a quiet Saturday afternoon four months after her arrival, Loki was sitting in her favorite armchair in the Avenger’s Tower common room, reading a hardbound book. She looked up when Jarvis called for her attention. “Mr. Stark is inquiring as to which design you’d prefer, Madam.”

A nearby screen lit up with a set of a dozen nature-themed photographs. In between a veined leaf and a warm campfire, she saw the image of white snowflakes on a blue background. “That one,” Loki pointed to it.

“Very well.”

“What’s this about, Jarvis?” Loki asked the AI.

“I am not at liberty to say, Madam.”

She nodded and went back to reading her book. Only a few minutes later, Tony walked in, greeted her with a kiss on the cheek, and handed over out a small, rectangular card.

She took it, recognizing the snowflake photograph she had just selected. A series of numbers and her chosen legal name, “Loki Asgardian,” was embossed on the card, along with the Stark company logo. “What is this?”

“Your StarkCard. You can use it to—”

Loki slammed her book shut. “—I know what a credit card is. What I should have asked is: why are you handing me a nigh-unlimited source of money?”

“Geez, snowflake, can’t I give you a present every once in a while.” Tony walked over to the bar, looking for a drink. Loki knew that meant he was nervous about something, probably something he needed to tell her.

“Your gifts, Tony, are usually a precedent to bad news. So, who is mad at me this time?”

“The world security council,” Tony said. He popped the cap off a bottle of gourmet root beer, and then another one. He slowly walked back over to where Loki was sitting and offered her the drink. “They’ve decided your trial period is over.”

“They want me back on Asgard,” Loki said, and took a sip of the soda.

She shouldn’t have. “They want you to be an Avenger.” Loki choked a little on her drink and got it on her white dress.

She glared up at Tony after she finished coughing. “Even worse.” She stood up from the couch to put the book away on her personal bookshelf. “I suppose this is a bribe, then.”

“I’d call it a welcome basket; this, and the team dinner at the fancy restaurant that Bruce is calling in a reservation for right now.”

“You’re not expecting me to pay for that, are you?”

“That card is on my account,” Tony explained, “so technically, I’m still paying.”

“Good.” Loki crooked a finger for him to follow as she walked out of the room. “Then you’ll also buy me a new dress for tonight. Let’s go shopping.”


End file.
